Posted on March 20, 2010

Stuck in A Dream or FlopStar

Me, Mylself, I

Me, Mylself, I

“I keep having this dream where I’m stuck in the bottom of a drill – I can’t jump high enough to catch the top and get up… ”

U don’t have to be clairvoyant or a numeric healer to understand that dream. For me the important part has been to cope with the fact that I’m a failure and forget about my cosmetic aware nercicistic self – AND MOVE ON. It did not take that long for the awake me and I make a small sallery and pay my bills partly from talking openly about my bankruptcy and working for EverBread where no one gives a shit. But apparently the deeper part of me is not really coping with the situation since this dream keeps comming… Its strange but maybe its also the key to entrepreneurship:

1) FIRST

You r a failure since u don’t take the NORMAL CARRIER ROUTE –

2) SECOND

when u get successful (and loaded) u r once again A VERY DIFFERENT KIND OF FISH but with self-confidence.

3) THEN FOR SOME YEARS

U learn the new lifestyle – rick – successful – kind of admired. You start talking way more then you listen (be very aware). You start being late for to many friend meeting… And You try to find out who u are – and build whatever you can with this weird self-confidence from money: – family, friendship, companies.

4) AND THEN

( if did not give up at STEP 1,2 or – became a coke head at 3 (still haven’t tried that kind of dope – it would be like reverse Woody Allen on downers). And if you really go all in to feel the kick from building something and you dont just sit on the money (or a stupid real estate portfolio). THEN IT HAPPENS -> SOME go bankrupt – and start over again. (then GO TO 1).

No Matter What Step you are at – Its About People

As always its about PEOPLE and the values inside yourself – and if u want to build a big vision or a big company u HAVE TO HAVE the ability to atrack people and talent that is way over your head – ITs CALLED SALES – sales of your vision. A term that seems to be eroded from all businesscards I have received over the last 5 years (I just checked).

No Matter What Step you are at – Its All About Sales

As an entrepreneur: Every day you have to sell your idea, your product and your self. And dont try hide behind it – with endless development or launching without called clients – following up – or even worse – A VIRAL STRATEGY and MEDIA. Call client and partners… EVERYONE AND HIS DOG.

It Takes A Lot Of Self-confidence

I had endless love in my childhood from everyone around me (parents, neighbors, teachers (even those with bad teaching skills, friends and Mentors) – and I now even have the unconditional love from my kids on top (and a incredible patient girlfriend). And that’s more I could ever dream of – so when I’m awake and have control over my brain I’m proud and happy. And I do sales and get a no every day.

BUT BUT BUT there is some unfinished business deep inside (its cosmetic – and its about some people (the first in my life) who fucked me over – and its about my personal brand and integrity) – something I haven’t been able to connect too and analyze – even though my shrink has given me a credit-line (but we mostly talk about sex anyway ).

I will keep fighting – and I feel stronger then EVER – just have to fix that dream part – Standing Stuck down that drill.

FlopStar – refers to Morten Lund to rock GeeknRolla, April 20, London