Posted on March 27, 2010

Money, Succes, Suicide and Love

Hank Moody

When I fly I always –

pass out just after takeoff. Some time ago I was on a plane from Tokyo to Copenhagen to do consulting work for a VERY BIG JAPANESE GUY. I had someone very dear in my mind and I was dreaming and crying on the plane…  I’m my dream I was the main carrecter in”Californication”. A sexy lady (now my girlfriend) said ”Hey Morten, I have been thinking about it. I think you are the Hank Moody of your world…”

If you aren’t –

familiar with this TV show let me say that it is not something you would consider as an instant compliment.

Californication is about

a writer from LA with a rather complicated relationship with his life. He is drinking too much, smoking too much, fooling around too much and hurting his daughter and girlfriend all the time. He keeps ending up in strange crazy situations but for some reason he is to me a hero as he tries to be honest about his crazy choices. A heart-driven fool…

”What do you mean”,

I asked the lady a little offended, because this guy is really not a man a woman would spend more than a night with.

”Well”, she said. ”You fool around in your world, you smoke, ok, you drink, but you fall in and out of love all the time with  people , with situations, with companies and with ideas. You manage to look at the bright side of life and although you have been going through a very tough time lately I have not seen you smile and laugh so much since the day we met.
You are a Hank Moody because you try to be honest and stay in contact with yourself although you do not always know who that is for very long – neither do the rest of us.”

Ohh my God…,

I thought, it is going to be a very long flight – more than the scheduled 11 hours. But then i started to rethink…

Dear valued reader of this mental hygiene blog of mine, I am not good at writing long  well structured articles/essays. I am no good with long sentences, long relationships and keeping focus for too long. I communicate with the world through Twitter (140 carercters) and I get a lot of my info from Twitter as well. I am a super ultimate consumer of information and personal relations, words and ideas and I like to be fast, passionate and juicy about everything I do. I love to go all in – and that’s something I can prove :). I want to be a man of action and you could say short sentences. So for me to write this article/essay is overcoming a barrier and it is not a natural thing for me. Act Don’t Talk is my motto –> 2.0 Act Don’t Think or  Act Don’t Write :) …

The reason

for bringing the Hank Moody story up is because he is a kind of a guy who seems to go with the flow and no matter how much he screws up he seems honest and able to continue on the destine road of his. And in that way I have to agree with thr srxy Lady.

I have been investing in and starting up companies for more than 17 years and even though I am no more than almost 38 years old I am quite a veteran within this area. I have a pretty good, almost animalistic instinct for good people and kicking off ideas into businesses and I am willing to go very far too implement these ideas if I believe in the people behind. And then it happened last year – BANG – One of these ideas made me go personal bankrupt and it is now 14 months ago. You can read about the whole story on my here on my blogpost the-day-i-woke-up-without-arms-and-legs – its hardcore – but to me more hearthcore.

What I want to share with you

is that ever since that day I have been smiling more than ever. I am a bit afraid of telling people how I feel as they could consider me a bit loony (well I am). But I have to be honest and even though I lost more than 50 mio. euros I am more optimistic about life than ever. I feel free and although I do not own a credit card and my kids and their mother probably have to move out of the house they live in and Im inviting myself for dinners all the time I feel an unbearable lightness about life and my situation, which kind of embarrass me since I read about guys committing suicide for less money that I lost and that makes me rethink…..

Im no longer thingking about what Jet Plan to buy, it is no longer an option buying art for all the extra earnings on investments, it is no longer cool to show the size of your dick by showing up a charity shit. And I love that I don’t have to spend braintime on inventing crazy holidays just because ordinary was suddenly not good enough – no more swimming in champagne at fancy clubs. You end up killing and loosing yourself, if not literally then mentally – when the speed is too fast… To go bankrupt is probably the biggest eye opener to me  ever– it  has set me free and I do not need to hide my insecurities behind a speed, funds, material shelter of goods and staff and more and more unuseful crab. Going bankrupt has shown me more about myself than I had ever dreamt of and even better – it had shown and taught me for real – not just as a political correct cliche – that success is not earning money in itself. Success might be about understanding money as a tool to develop and changing the world. A tool to make people work and inspire  and motivate themselves and others.

Money and loss of it –

should never lead to suicide, ugly divorces, loneliness and mental loneliness. Money is like love energy and should be used and looked at the same way – with respect and mutual understanding. Money has to be reflecting the users values and personality and should be used wisely and with integrity. If you spend your money wisely and with respect and follow your gut feeling – then you might get closer to the right track i think.  It is not about the money but about the energy in it. Money is dangerous stored energy. Be honest about who you are and what you know and do not use people unless you really use them. Money is nothing – did you ever see a company build itself? Right – it’s the people, people, people.
My friend was maybe right  – Maybe I am the Hank Moody of my world – I live and breath it, and sometimes I screw up but I get back on the horse – I never give up on my dreams – and I am proud that although I have had everything and now have nothing I am happier than ever feeling more successful and on page with the soul of the world…

With EVERBREAD and Tradeshift

– taking of like space-rockets – I feel that my focus and salesman-skills channel in ONE DIRECTION and I actually add value. I see results – I feel that people around me grow and get more energized – and therefor I have a much better feeling about myself. I have tried being 100% confused about my 8-90 startups – and not into any detail. But now – that I have to perform as a CEO and Adviser – I see how much you can do with attention and focus – how many small errors I can find just from using my experiences. I’m not bullshitting you – dear highly valued reader – I LOVE IT. Off course – both project are HYPER DISRUPTIVE in their industries – and its not a boring butter cookie factory – but I love being into the details and MOVE A WHOLE TEAM and ORG forward. Its a very new and strange feeling for me – but I feel that I found my role here.

Should I ever be so lucky to get free and out of bankruptcy – I will lock myself into only doing One major thing and max 2 small side geeks.

RETHINK –

your own success parameters all you other Hank Moodys out there.. And remember Im always very liquid – I have the love of my 4 kids – that’s all that matters. Think about it … :)

Note: This essay was printed in German Focus magazine 11 months ago – and is only mildly updated.