Im angry…

Bla bla bla bla..

Well in reality Im happier then ever.

I have tried a LOT – but nothing like this travelshow EVERBREAD had 4 people participating in, in Singapore. With the creame de la creme of the Travel Industry at WIT Singapore (http://www.webintravel.com/). The lady behind this show Yeoh Siew Hoon - is the REAL ENTREPRENUER – someone who does stuff that is really challenging and risky. EVENTS like these are game changing for any disruptive B2B company.

Rmember: Only B2B

When good becomes great.

The EVERBREAD team was so amasing – working together in this homogenous and tense way that even real good startups seldomly experience. WHen good becomes great. But off course it feels good when all the major players and the smartest guys in the industry wants to talk you AND WE SIGNED 10+ contracts at a conference. But it felt like spring – after very long 16months of winter (development and client tests) and trying to tell the market that EVERBREAD IS FOR REAL. SHOUTING: “Yes – we are able to do search better then anyone else in  travel.”

Being Back In Asia

I got some amassing insiders to how Asia works – I love to hang out with the people who really make business happen in an exploding city/region. And I must say that my relations with the Singaporean government and one of the largest companies got to a whole new level. Wish I could say more… :)

Getting on the MAP

Any startup needs small miracles – and we also have one of them in Singapore – when CNBC suddenly invited us on the SQUAK BOX – and after this little clip – I suddenly realised that some people actually still watch television (or maybe just investors :). And our phone has been ringing like mad ever since.

Watch the CNBC clip here

SOME WEIRD STUFF you might wanna know:

A) You can get frre land in the land of the free – link

B) The people at Tradeshift got a Parrot Drone you can controle with an iPad – delivered to the office  - video

C) Here are my notes to a TRADESHIFT movie we are making.

You are wondering

about why Im angry – when I post like a very happy Saliery who just succeeded in stressing Mozart.

But one of my secrets is that when I do something – I really do it all the way. AND now that Im running a company – I really (NATURALLY) dive 100% into the spirit of being a CEO and the spirit of the Business – and hang out with only SUPER FOCUS CEO’s who are in MY EXCACT SITUATION. Its about 5-6 and all of us are having the same problem with VCs, Private Equity, Pension Funds – say Investors.

Everyone one in this CEOgroup says the same – after getting some tracktion they suddenly feel that ALL OF THE INVESTOR UNIVERSE WANTS THEM AND ARE (WULFF)HUNGRY FOR THE SAME COMPANY – but 99,5% of these institutions are all about saying: We really like this (sounds like WE ARE READY TO TRANSFER MONEY – for any CEO/Founder) – lets follow you guys closely. And by the way – we know this guy X – he is an industry expert (and can eat all you time as a CEO – because he has no job or is silly rich and bored – and shit ass clever very oftenly).

- so they reject you and say the magic words: “Can You Come … Later”*

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*Its makes me even more angry that I was the same way 4-5 times in my time as investor – using time as a parameter to get the comany closer to the edge – here called: Bankruptcy. Only problem is that if I could just have acted like any big fund that I talk about about. Well – then I probobly could have had a VERY LARGE FUND – But not the people, the daily miracles and the fun I have with my amasing latest adoptions: EVERBREAD and Tradeshift** :)

** On Tradeshift thing are so crazy wild and I cant really comment on anything. One thing I want to say is that: I think we just fixed some lower level global problems . its a long story (maybe the film will take more then 50sec) – again I cant say more – just that its beautiful and you will love it. Specially the ones of you who are noble Real Three Huggers – who didn’t forget about the environment just because it becoming mainstream.

“I think we can tell ourselves “everything” to survive and turn every crappy situation in something good”.

Im really trying to see what could be wrong – every day. I feel that Im not allowed to be happy. And I feel so deeply happy despite the fact that I went bankrupt and lost everything. Since I swapped the Amex Black Card with a calling card – and my houses went on forced sale (dont know the english word). In the back of my head Im still wounded – my pride – my facade is not happy with this shit. But Im back on my feet and own most of what I had before – and dept that is manageable.

I LOVE THIS

But my life is 100 times more intense and real now. The daily flow with the EVERBREAD team and the 2-3 phone calls with the TRADESHIFT founders – is something I enjoy.

Well thats obvious – when things are possitive and moving forward like a rocket-ship trough the stratosphere… But I like to have controle over whats going on – I like to be deeeeply into the details and solve real problems and off course SELL SELL SELL. I love it.

On the other side I unfortunately have to say: “Thank you so much for thinking of me – but NO THANX” – to a lot of interesting projects and startups (4-10 pr week). But thats not hard anymore – it was in the beginning since evaluating new ideas, projects and companies was what I did for 5-7years. Although I was bad at EVERYTHING after first meeting and transferring cash. My problem: I had a table so full of amassing dishes and I did not know where to start nor where to end my days… I was distracted.

I STILL  FEEL GUILT

Maybe one of the things that really makes me angry with myself – is that quite some people lost money on my too wild newspaper venture-ride. And off course – IT IS SOMETHING THAT I SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF. Everyone knew this was high risk – and 80% on the suplier side got over paid – but still it might have taken some of the 20% down – and I HATE IT. Also I really hate that all these people suddenly had no job.

Besides that – it feels like the lesson was needed. To go back to the humility – and not just blow it all up. But instead – I should probobly have saved some energi and money. And spend some time – sitting all still – on PAUSE – to preserve and be proud of what I had.  Hmmm…

Next time. Next time it must be…!

I WAS ALWAYS TOO YOUNG

One of the big problems with getting wealthy and successful as a very young mann is that:

A) You dont get an upgrade on you brainchip – but everyone around you suddely listens too all you bullshit. And you find yourself in situations ALL THE TIME – where you are asked questions – where you have no clue about the answers.

B) Believing your own BULLSHIT – suddenly you start actually believing all the bullshit you say and think – and all the edgy ideas becomes: “Something we just do with a good team and throw some money at…”

C) THE REAL PROBLEM. You cant attract older and wise tallent – its hard to spend the time it takes to build trusted relationships to mentors, partners and fresh entrepreneurs. Thats where I went all wrong.

Should you ever end up in that situation, I can only advise you to do what you have to do. But try if you can tame the flame a bit – and find someone elder to get advise. For me its been a journey – and still is – I have learned that money really matters less and the energi from within is not at all tamed.

I have learned it all on my own body – and Im taking my own medicine:

People, People, People is everything – FOCUS HARD – very careful with hallucinating visionaries – and 100% focus on the fact that succes comes from sales not from funding…

CONCLUSION

Maybe nothing is wrong – maybe Im just happy and lucky to have the ability to adjust. Like I have done trough all the years as a pretty edgy entrepreneur. I’ve never had a book or a blog where I could read about thoughts like this – and I would probably not have listened. Its nearly impossible to learn from others when you are as selfmade as most successful entrepreneurs. But I want to say one thing: REMEMBER TO BE PROUD OF THE SMALL THINGS YOU ACHIEVE – and dont be shy to defend your achievement instead of hunting the next big thing.

Since I can see all this (and even get it into writing.

It looks like Im getting old and loosing the REBEL inside :( – Maybe I am – since Im now doing B2B software – hardcore science and business structuring.

But what the heck.

I FUCKING LOVE IT. Its never too late for a fresh start – BINGO!

PS having close friends, advisors and being in love really helps